I am reading a book (another book…who knew I would have time to read?!) called Desperate: Hope for the Mom who needs to Breathe by Sarah Mae and Sally Clarkson. There are a lot of things in this book that I would call noteworthy, but this one section stood out to me as something I should share.
As moms, we are always doing something. Wiping faces (or butts), picking up toys, cooking, working, driving…you know all the mom stuff. And sometimes we can get so wrapped up in our mom stuff that we feel like we lose ourselves. Days go by and you do not talk to another adult human being or your kids are sick and all you do is clean up puke for what seems like a month and we can become depressed. All you can see (and hear) are the little people in front of you who need something or everything.
I am a very positive person and I try to think that no matter what my circumstances are, I will see the light at the end of the tunnel. I know that all things are for a season and that God will not put more on me than I can bear. But, I am not exempt from letting my mind and thoughts of how I think things should be stray from Gods purpose.
In the book, Sally makes a check list of questions to ask yourself if you feel like you are falling in to a period of struggle. (Page 61-62)
- Do I need sleep? I need to do whatever it takes to restore physically.
- Have I been reading my Bible? Even if it is putting an app on my phone with a voice I can listen to while still in bed in the mornings or at night, I need to hear from the God who walks through these valleys with me.
- Do I feel alone? I need to call someone who is a spiritually engaging friend, one who loves God, loves me, and whom I can completely trust. I will meet that person for coffee or lunch to share my heart and ask for prayer.
- Am I watching my health? Exercise is a stress reducer and helps happy hormones to develop. I have developed the habit of walking and hiking.
- How can I get help? Is there someone who can help me clean my home? Do I have a friend I can ask to keep my kids, so I can have a little time away?
- What do I need to invest in the joy factor of my life? Am I creating spaces of beauty for my own soul- candles, music, fresh flowers, and other such life-giving things? Perhaps it’s as simple as going to a movie with my husband or friend, or buying a new scarf.
There are so many different personal issues to consider, but I have found that sometimes when we choose to look away from the mountains of anxiety and stress that have endangered our souls, and instead attend to our souls, we will find that the depression will quickly dissipate.”
I really felt good after reading this list of questions. Obviously, this does not solve all of our problems, but if we can head off some of these negative feelings we sometimes encounter, I think we will find ourselves being more of the moms we want to be.
Galatians 6: 7-9 – “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. 8 For he who sows to his flesh will of the flesh reap corruption, but he who sows to the Spirit will of the Spirit reap everlasting life. 9 And let us not grow weary while doing good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.”