I can feel it as it starts to happen, my blood pressure changes, my heart beats faster and I start to sweat profusely under my clothes. Panic sets in and I start to look for the exits. What am I talking about? Obviously you have never gone to a store, a doctors office, a laundry mat, the health department, the park, or just left the house in general with three “small” kids. I’m starting to wonder if small is the appropriate term anymore. How about 1 small heathen, and 2 big heathens? No, maybe not. Anyway.
Last excursion to Target was indeed something. They had been so good (good for them), while I looked around Hobby Lobby, and honestly I wouldn’t have even attempted Target on a Saturday with a head cold and 3 “smaller” children if I hadn’t actually been in desperate need of feminine hygiene products, ahem. So onward we went. But heaven knows you can’t just go in Target, buy something and leave, it’s not possible. I tried to focus, but the more I tried to focus the harder it became. Shopping with kids while trying to focus is like taking three giant bouncy balls down the isle and releasing them. So I tried to get everything on my “mental list” (another bad idea), and then took Jaden to look at the video games.
The kid found tons of money in his piggy bank and it was burning a hole in his wallet, because he wanted games he already had, even if it was just because he couldn’t find them. After
patiently waiting for my child to figure out what he wanted, I gave up and told him to save his money. This didn’t make him very happy, and he started to whine. I walked onward toward the front of the store stopping once in a while to look at something. Jaden then started to cry and say that I wouldn’t let him have a game. Then he found some Stompeez, which were the wrong size, and wanted them. At this point he was ready to buy anything, even if they are house shoes that don’t fit. When I told him no, a meltdown ensued. As we were walking down the main isle he would start to violently jump while crossing his arms and making shrieking noises. So much fun, let me tell you. Somehow I managed to remain calm and we checked out and fled left the store.
This is a common theme anymore when I leave the house alone with the kids. Oliver is three now, and he used to sit quietly in the cart. I could hand him a toy or some food and he’d be content. Now every time we pass a restroom he suddenly has to pee, and fusses at me the whole time I shop. I also miss the days when the kids were small enough to “cage” in the cart. If you want a cart that size they usually only seat two kids, and are so massive it’s like pushing a small Fiat through the store, ahem Kroger. Why don’t stores have daycares?
Just take a moment to let this all soak in. These pictures were taken at my last visit for shots at the health department. And yes, Jaden is shaking his butt. I learned that this either came from Spongebob, or Goofy.